Know Your Child’s Situation at School

By Leland Pulley

In this article, the emphasis is on the school your child is attending outside the home. What is he experiencing each school day? School life is an important part of a young person’s life while growing up. To make sure this experience is the best possible for your child, make the effort to become familiar with what is going on at your child’s school.

Some students will share a lot of information about school with their parents. Other students share very little. Consider each of your children every year that they are attending a school outside the home.  As a parent, take an interest in school life.

Most people connect school with academic work. This is generally the first concern of parents. Become familiar with the subjects your child is being taught each year. Schools have curriculum guidelines for each subject at each grade. If you have a concern about anything being taught to your student, this is a good place to start your investigation. As a taxpayer and parent, you have the right to see this information. Be aware however, that individual teachers can decide how much and how carefully they follow standard curriculum. They can easily insert material which they produce and you will not know this unless your student shares this information with you. And this will not occur unless you have enough interest and information to ask detailed questions of your student.

Even if the school does a good job teaching important and relevant subjects to students, your student will still decide how much he chooses to learn. This will be influenced by which subjects he has an interest in and which ones seem irrelevant or unimportant to him.  Discuss various subjects with your child each year in order to understand what he likes, and which subjects are harder or easier for him to understand. Help him to see a connection between school subjects and his life outside of school. Obviously, some subjects will be more relevant than others. Other subjects like reading are taught to help the child learn other things. Most subjects are taught in sequential steps from grade to grade as your student progresses through elementary, middle, and high school.

Another thing to monitor is the change in the subjects taught over the years and decades. For example, in my country the United States, I had United States history three full years in the fifth, eighth, and eleventh grades. This is no longer the case in too many schools. Although technology has increased in the last few decades, some schools still do not require sufficient math and science to graduate from high school. You should compare what you studied while growing up with the subjects your children are being taught today.

Check out the grading system at your child’s school. Is it strict with letter grades for each subject? Or they may be classes which do not give grades, but merely a pass or fail status. I have observed over the years with our kids and grandkids that in both schools and universities, there has been grade inflation. In too many cases students today are getting better grades with less effort.

When I went to school, we actually utilized printed textbooks in grade school, middle school, and high school. Most subjects had a specific book for it. We were given a book at the beginning of the school year and checked it in at the end of the school year. We were responsible for it. Thus, we had a history book, English book, math book, health book, science book and so forth. When homework was required, we took these books home and brought them back to school the next day. Every school had a library and periodically we would go to the library to check out books. Few handouts were utilized. This all seems simple or obvious to me. Is this what your student is experiencing in school now?

Computers have become more prevalent, along with calculators, and cell phones. Does your child know his math facts or must he rely on a calculator? How much teaching is done through computers at your child’s school versus in person teaching in the classroom? These devices are also being used in administering tests, and even in performing surveys along the students. Schools can ask many questions of students and have them respond on their computers. Parents do not see the questions being asked nor the responses from their child. Talk with your student on how these devices are being utilized in the classroom.

Besides academics, there are other important variables affecting your child which can be just as important as the subjects he is studying.  One is the general environment at school. What does he experience in the classroom, in the hallways, the cafeteria, or on the playground? How comfortable is he in each of these environments? Are there any situations in which he is uncomfortable? Is he treated fairly by others?

He interacts with both teachers and other students. Does he get along with both of them? How important is the peer group to him, and how much influence does it have on his life? Is he making some good friends who treat him well? Do his friends help him to perform better in various activities and endeavors, or do they pull him down so his standards of conduct drop? Thus, his grades can drop, and he can become less popular also. If your student is a teenager, how well is he dealing with members of the opposite sex?

Schools offer many activities during school hours as well as after school. Does your child belong to any club or student groups? Is he a member of the band or choir group? What about a chess club or the debate team? Athletic activities are popular in middle schools and high schools. Does your child have any interest in sports, and if so, is he a member of any school team for a specific sport?

In middle school and high school there are opportunities to serve in student government. Your child can run for a specific office like president of the class or president of the school.

Almost all schools have rules to obey and standards of conduct. These include how you interact with teachers, and how you treat your fellow students. Usually, there are dress standards for both boys and girls. In all cases, when rules and standards are disobeyed, your child is subject to discipline. How does your child feel about these things, and has he been disciplined? Have you taught your child that school rules are very similar to company rules that adults must obey? In like manner, civil laws that we citizens are to obey.

Finally, do not hesitate to actually visit your child’s school. Watch what goes on in the playground, and with teenagers watch what goes on in the parking lot. Visit teachers in person so they can give their perspective about the school and their observations of your student.  You may need to talk with a school counselor about specific issues or problems. If necessary, talk to the principal, or assistant principal.

To confirm what you observe or hear, talk with other parents who have students similar in age to your own kids. Hopefully, some of these parents will have students in classes along with your children. The benefit is these other parents will notice things that you could miss. They could have some good ideas for addressing problems or serious issues. They may have recommendations or solutions that would benefit their own students as well as your kids. Other parents also provide social reinforcement for you and any of your efforts to investigate, recommend, or object to things that occur at the school.

School districts can have problems. For example, in some districts there is widespread lack of academic achievement and problems with discipline. You may need to go to the school board meeting and voice your concerns. If these concerns involve issues that affect many students besides your own, get some other parents to come with you. Remember, all school employees are paid with your tax dollars so you are the ultimate employer.

As you consider all the variables above, plus all the things that you can think of, ask yourself some simple questions.

  • Is your student volunteering to share his school life with you, or is he holding back important information?  If you suspect this, ask enough detailed questions to help him express his thoughts and feelings. What are his opinions about classes or programs? In his opinion, who is a good teacher for him currently?
  • How is the school helping your child to learn, develop skills, and think critically? Identify specific topics being taught. Which skills are being strengthened? What evidence is there that he is developing critical thinking skills at a rate appropriate for his age? These skills should be applicable to all aspects of his life.
  • Is your child’s school meeting his needs in a satisfactory manner? Which needs are being met, partially being met, and not being met? If there are problems in this area, you may consider another school or type of school experience for him.

During childhood, adolescence, and the early adult years, school life and education will have a big impact on the life of your child. From preschool through college, monitor what the child is thinking and doing relative to this important endeavor during the early years of his life. It will help to shape him as an individual and prepare him for success or failure in adulthood. Unfortunately, many parents make a big mistake. They approach parenting and education in a passive manner. They check each child into a daycare center, then a public school, followed by a college. During these years they are trusting third parties to always do what is best for each child. Third parties can try their best, but their efforts and strategies will not fulfill the needs of every child. Some trust is good, but not total or blind trust. Stay involved and be informed. Remember, you as a parent can and should be the most influential adult in the life of your child.

Key Words – school life, academic work, school subjects, technology, grading system, grade inflation, printed textbooks, computers, calculators, general environment at school, peer group, activities, student government, rules to obey and standards of conduct, talk to the principal, other parents, school board meeting, critical thinking skills, trusting third parties, be the most influential adult in the life of your child

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