By Colleen Pulley
One of the greatest experiences in my life has been the opportunity to be a Mother. It has also been the one that I have had the most joy, and it certainly has caused the most pain. Motherhood is one of those refiners=s fires, that is not comparable to any other. It makes a person feel the power of God, the uncertainties of your ability to endure the task, the fear of not being an adequate teacher, the pain when your precious child rebels and hurts not only himself, but others. You will cry and laugh, soar and plummet. The old expression about being on a roller coaster does not express what you will go through.
Motherhood never ends. You do not stop worrying about your child after they become an adult. I have known women in their nineties who will weep over the loss of a child seventy years earlier. They have told me they still yearn for that sweet child and feel the ache of separation in their tears.
The young woman struggling through those early days of morning sickness, and sleepless nights, trying to get comfortable, have an army of sympathetic women who will moan at the memory of their own time in the trenches. It does not matter if the other woman is the same age, a grandmother, or a great-Grandmother, the experience is what bonds you together.
Motherhood is the universal Language. I have been to parts of the world where you cannot understand one another, except through an interpreter. I have gone to playgrounds, and there, children and Mothers interact and you know they are communicating in the universal language of Motherhood.
Not all women are equal in their ability at Motherhood. Some women seem to respond with a smile at a child, but do not have the selflessness it takes to succeed in the calling of Motherhood. I have seen career women, take off their three weeks post pregnancy, then turn their little one over to day care, so they can return to their sixty-hour work week. Their child becomes a trophy that is removed from the shelf, admired, then returned to the shelf. This woman thinks she is fluent in Motherhood=s Language, but in reality, she at best speaks a tourist=s equivalent.
The woman who is a methamphetamine or heroin addict, or alcoholic, will not be able to fulfil the responsibility that goes along with the title of Motherhood. Her own problems will stain the child she raises. The little one will struggle with the effects of drugs for the rest of his life. He will have difficulty with attention issues, speech development, coping strategies, and bonding.
Although Motherhood is a universal language, not all women are able to communicate with it at the same level of skill. Some do a better job, than others. Unfortunately, with increasing numbers of women birthing children who have no skills to parent, and no role model to teach them, a great change is occurring in society. The Universal Language of Motherhood is being altered. To some people having a baby means you will become an expert in the Language of Motherhood, when in reality you have not done more than get started.
If a woman is in tune with herself, and does undertake the project of becoming an expert in the Universal Language of Motherhood, she will need all the help and support of those women who have maneuvered through the trenches and succeeded. Keep your radar up Ladies, and give some support to the new Moms in society.
By the way, recognize that there are women out there who are Mom=s through adoption, fostering, and through marriage. There are also some women who have learned some skills in the Language of Motherhood yet have never been a Mother. They gained these skills as they interacted with children in the role of a teacher, counselor, mentor, nurse, or coach.
So Happy Mother’s Day to all those women who understand and care for the leaders of tomorrow. And do not forget to send some flowers, and give a hug and a kiss to the woman who Mothered you . Until later…Colleen
key words – mother, motherhood, universal language of motherhood, selflessness, pregnancy, role model, happy mother’s day
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