By Leland Pulley
As we live our lives, we experience problems and difficulties. There can be negative outcomes and even tragic events. These types of things can easily set us back in our situation and circumstances. We may be discouraged or overwhelmed by what is going on. We can become confused, and in some cases bitter. We ask yourselves, why did this happen to me instead of someone else? Or we may ask what did I do to deserve this?
The real issue here is not whether bad things can happen to good people, because they can. We all realize that life is not fair and each of us is vulnerable. We can be subjected to some things through our own fault and other things through no fault of our own. Many such things are above and beyond our control. These can range from a car accident to an injury obtained while participating in a sport. There can be a serious illness you suffer from, or there is a death in your immediate family. You have a house that loses value, so it is worth less than the amount owed by you on the mortgage. You have a loss of income through unemployment. The important thing is the impact an event or circumstance has on you personally. This is the focus of this article.
Think about your life. Things can go wrong, and negative events can occur. When they do, it is as though you have been knocked down and now must decide whether you are going to get back up and continue to fight. This is the big question that you must answer at various times in your life. It may seem easy to stay down and give up. But this will limit growth. It will lead to disappointment and lack of fulfillment and success in the future. Your ability to fight will be diminished the next time you are knocked down. You need to get back up and continue to fight for what you deserve or want. This will help you to develop stamina and endurance. Let us look at some ways to do this.
After something has happened that knocked you down a notch or even to the floor, do not overreact. The first thing to do is to figure out what happened and why. Should you have seen this event or circumstance coming? Did you contribute to it in any way? Could you have prevented it or diminished the impact on your life? What can you learn from this experience?
Now that it has happened, what can you do about it? Getting upset or mad may seem justified, but this type of reaction is not going to help solve anything. Therefore, letting some time pass by is helpful. You can calm down, as well as have time to think things through.
One of the first reactions could be to strike out against another individual or organization who you believe did the damage or caused the problem. This can take several forms from slander to lawsuits. Unfortunately, there are many problems that will not be solved by negative reactions on your part.
There are, however, situations and conditions where it is reasonable to defend yourself. This means take offensive action. You can explain your situation to others and thus defend your reputation as well as your actions. You can also take offensive action such as defending yourself physically, financially, and even in court. The timing of your defensive actions can vary from the instant the negative event occurs, to days or weeks or months later.
In most cases, a more reasonable approach is to figure out how to live with the problem or circumstance now and in the immediate future. If you have good coping strategies, they will certainly help you now. If you have resources available to you, these can be utilized at this time. If you have a good support system of individuals who care about you and will help you, this is another source of help. The idea here is to survive for a while and develop a strategy to get out of your situation or solve your problem. This may take weeks or even months. Whatever you do, always remember that trying to make the best of the situation will strengthen you and in the long run bring benefits into your life.
After you figure out what you can and will do, you are ready to stand up and start fighting again. You have determined what rights you have, what is legal, and what is fair. You have reviewed all the variables involved and what you can do for yourself at this time in your life. Now it is time to implement your plans and do the best you can with what you have.
It will not always be easy, and there will be no instant results in most cases. You may not be fully happy with the results one or two years later. But it is better to get back into the game rather than stand on the sidelines. It is better to stand up and fight than to give up and diminish opportunities for yourself in the future.
Anyone who has developed the ability to get back up and fight is a tougher and more resilient individual. He or she is more capable in the future of handling bigger problems, more stress, and a greater amount of adversity in its many forms. It is harder to discourage such individuals because they have the ability to remain optimistic even when things are not going their way. Meanwhile, the person who gets knocked down and stays down, does not experience this type of growth, and does not become this type of individual. Instead he is weaker and more vulnerable over time because he did not allow himself to grow by facing what life would throw at him.
It is up to you to decide whether you are going to be satisfied with staying down or getting up and fighting. Are you going to be an active or passive participant in life? Do you want the most that you can get out of life or merely live a life of mediocrity?
I challenge you to paint a mental image in your mind. Someone or something has knocked you in the jaw and you fall to the ground. What are you going to do now? I say get back up on your feet as well and as fast as you can. Continue to fight for what you deserve and need. Defend yourself and in some cases, this means take offensive action. In most cases this means go on after the incident. Learn from it and let it strengthen you. Deal with it the best you can. With time you will overcome most or all of its effects and get through the process. Ultimately, you grow and develop, and experience more success.
Key Words – problems, discouraged , bad things can happen to good people, get back up and continue to fight, stamina, endurance, offensive action, coping strategies, resilient, adversity
Return to Articles page to read more articles
If you have any comments or feedback on this article, use the Contact Us page