By Leland E Pulley
As the years go by, one of the best ways to measure happiness is whether you have been able to do what you wanted in life. Have you become the type of person you expected and desired? Have you accomplished the things you set out to do? Do you feel fulfilled at this time?
If you want to get the most out of life, you must first understand who you are as an individual. This includes your personality and basic nature. Consider the things you like and dislike. What seems to motivate you? Do your have special talents in any areas? What are your real interests? Identify the things you hope for and dream about if you could have them. Doing this type of self-analysis will help you understand yourself better. Next consider what you are capable of doing, if the opportunity is given to you. Then you must put forth the effort required to do what you want or to accomplish your goals. This all seems simple enough, but too often we all stumble along the way and fall short of our true capabilities. Thus, our hopes and dreams not fulfilled to the degree they could be. By middle age we come to the conclusion that we are not, and probably will never be nor have, what we had hoped for in our 20’s. In a way this is tragic, yet this is reality for most people. There are some things that can be done to help each of us get more out of life. I would like to focus on one of those in this article.
As you live your life daily, there are demands placed upon you. You have duties and responsibilities. You participate in a variety of activities. You are involved in several relationships with other people. All these things require time, energy, the utilization of your skills, and in some cases your money. The problem comes when we become too busy and over scheduled. We have too many demands placed upon us. We are not able to address all of our needs sufficiently, let alone our wants. This can lead to discouragement and less effort. If this pattern goes on too long, disappointment sets in and even some depression. We are not happy with ourselves, and ultimately start to give up or lower our expectations. This is why many people get less out of life than others. No matter who you are, or what your circumstances are, your attitude and effort will make a big difference over the years. You can get more or less out of life based on your level of effort and whether you utilize good strategy. So ask yourself what level of fulfillment you want – 30% of what is possible, 50%, 80%, or even higher? What level you actually end up with depends primarily on you. Don=t forget this.
So what must you do? Think of the things you would like to have time for, or be involved in at the present time. Make a list of them. Then ask yourself for each one, why you are not able to pursue it or participate in it to the degree that you would like? One good reason that applies to all of us is simply this. You are letting less important things crowd out more important things. In practical terms you are not as efficient in practicing Effective Living as you should be. It is 15 minutes there and 30 minutes there that is wasted, or perhaps spent on trivial or frivolous things compared to something that is more important to you. At the end of the week, hours are spent in this way. Then we turn around and say I haven=t got time to read, exercise regularly, take a class, volunteer in the community, pursue a hobby, or spend more one-on-one time with my kids.
Related to the time issue is money. If you do not utilize money properly and budget it as you should, then it can be spent on less important things and rob more important things. You can spend each dollar only once, so make sure you=re spending it where it can do the most good for you or your family.
In utilizing your time and skills and money, strive to invest them in the things of greatest value to you. In other words, invest them in your top priorities first. It is these high priority items that should have a time and place in your life. I recommend that you make appointments with your self to fit these high priority items into your life or into your busy schedule. Then if there is time left over, you can spend it on less important things. If you do not make these appointments based on true priorities, less important things will push out more important ones. Some of the things you really wanted to do and should do will not get started, or they will be partially completed, rather than fully completed. The end result is that the weeks, months and years will go by; and you will never get as much done, nor learn as much, nor be as happy and fulfilled as an individual, nor will you contribute as much to others.
Here is something else to keep in mind. You do not have to complete an entire task all at once. For example, if you want to read a book, you do not have to set aside eight hours and read the entire book. You can break this eight hours into pieces, like thirty minutes each day on your bus ride to work. Honor this thirty minute appointment for sixteen days and the book will be finished. It will seem like you never gave up anything to accomplish this small goal. The principle of breaking something into pieces can apply to all types of goals.
Making appointments with yourself and keeping them shows commitment. It demonstrates that your are truly an Inner Boss who is in charge of your life, and you are practicing Good Stewardship.
The overall process I am recommending here can be summarized this way. Do an assessment. Decide what you want. Set some clear priorities. Assign the necessary resources to each priority when you work on it. Follow your overall plan and strategy consistently. Accomplish what you desire. Be happy and more fulfilled as a result. This pattern is more than merely setting goads and achieving them. You are actually living better. You are putting into your life the things that should be there. This becomes a pattern of living and ultimately it leads to more accomplishments and greater joy.
The above process applies to both short-term and long-term goals. For example, taking a class is a short-term goal and getting a degree is a long-term goal. In each case, you must make time to study and pass exams. This requires dedicated effort over time, with lots of appointments with yourself to achieve the goal. Another example is losing weight. This can be a short-term or long-term goal depending on the amount of time and effort you must work to achieve a lower weight and then maintain it. Once again appointments and persistence are required to reach the goal and be happy with the results.
Sometimes things that sound logical and easy are not as easy as they look. This is one of those things. To make appointments with yourself and actually keep them consistently requires a great deal of self-discipline. You may have to change some of the ways you do things. You may have to change values and attitudes and work habits. But over time this pattern of honoring your appointments will become easier. As the years go by you will see for yourself the results. Instead of looking back with disappointment on opportunities lost or lack of self-fulfillment, you will see a life fuller of happy moments and successful endeavors. This is what brings satisfaction. Go for it!
Key Words – happiness, effort, expectations, time, effective living, money, priorities, appointments with yourself, commitment, inner boss, good stewardship, accomplishments, persistence, self-discipline, successful endeavors
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