By Leland Pulley
Over the many years I have lived, I can look back and see times when I wish someone would have stopped me and given me some practical advice before I made certain decisions. I think some of my decisions would have been made differently, and my life would have been better as a result.
I am not implying that I never sought advice, nor always rejected the advice given to me. I have always been open to advice, but in some cases I did not seek it and other times I did not fully accept it. This means some good advice was not obtained or utilized by me, and now I can see very clearly that life was harder as a result. Does this sound familiar to you? Do you like me have better hindsight than foresight? At times you may not have sought advice or simply rejected good advice when you received it. Either way, you lose!
I am an independent and confident person. I manage my affairs quite well. However, I am not too proud to accept advice. I want people to be very direct to make their point about me and my life. Not everyone will do this, even when I say it is OK to treat me this way. I even tell people that I accept criticism well without hurting my feelings. Despite all these things, I have to ask most individuals to offer me advice and hope they will open up and tell me what they know and really think about me and the decisions I face.
I have some gray hair now. I can clearly see my childhood and adolescent years, as well as the decades of adulthood from the 20’s through the 60’s. Things that are obvious now were not that obvious at age 25 or even 40. Why? Because I now have more experience, perspective, knowledge, and wisdom.
Due to my situation, I can still help my children if they allow me. I have watched them pass though childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. I can see their lives in some ways as clearly as they can, and sometimes clearer than them. I have given advice to them throughout their lives, including their young adult years. When my parental advice was not accepted, life was harder for them. There were more disappointments, failures, problems, and weaker relationships. This is a true statement today as much as when my kids were younger.
I do not know what your track record is on seeking and accepting advice. Hopefully, you have people you can trust and will go to them when advice is advisable or needed.
Not everyone will seek and accept advice. They may not trust others. They may have advisors who lack knowledge and wisdom. Perhaps the people they could go to do not always have their best interests in mind.
Some people think that seeking advice is admitting you are too dumb to solve your own problems or make your own choices. This is not true. You merely seek information to supplement what you know in order to make better decisions for yourself.
You do not lose independence when you seek advice. The ultimate decision is still with you. You merely want to make the best decision.
When you seek advice and utilize it, you gain allies via those who advise you. This encourages you and helps to form a support network for your decisions and endeavors. This always strengthen you and your efforts.
When you seek advice and accept it, you do make less mistakes and life is easier. This is especially true if you seek advice from the best individuals you can, who understand you and your needs, and who have knowledge in the areas you seek advice.
Advice is not limited to what others say to you. Consider their example and what they radiate when you are around them. At times actions speak louder than words.
Advice does not always have to come through personal interaction. Consider what can be learned through history. What did good people do in the past that can be advisable to do today? Literature too offers lessons of life that can be valuable to learn and apply. Good religious teachings provide lots of reasons to do some things and avoid other things.
Advice is suitable for all age groups.
- A crucial age for accepting advice is adolescence. Teenagers go through many changes. It is easy to get caught up in the moment. There is a lot of peer influence. Good adult role models like teachers, coaches and especially parents are essential. Unfortunately, many times youths do not ask parents for advice. And if they do, that advice in not always accepted nor followed.
- Another critical age group is young adults. During these years the individual is making important decisions that will affect the rest of his adult years. When I look at young adults today, I see the obvious mistakes that many of them are making. I ask myself, why don=t they ask for some advice from older people? Do they think we are dumber because we are older? On the contrary, we are the wiser ones. Do they think we do not understand life anymore because some things in society have changed? Many basic things in life do not change from one generation to the next. We do understand most things going on in the world of the young adult. But still, most young adults seek their own way, which leads to more mistakes for themselves and those they influence such as their children. This is a tragic story played out in too many lives and homes.
- It is not just young adults who do not seek enough advice from more experienced adults. Older adults too can and should seek advice, but often do not. We all can learn from others, whether they be younger or older than us. It is not too late for anyone to start seeking more good advice in order to learn better ways and make more right decisions.
Finally, we must all remember that advice has a spiritual dimension too. God gives us advice in the form of admonitions, commandments, laws, and sacraments. He wants to help us, and certainly He has good information for us. However, too many individuals choose to deny His existence, or simply ignore Him, or do not pay much attention to His counsel for us. Some people want to pick and choose which laws to obey and which ones to ignore. In this mortal world, it is easy for people to be proud and stubborn. They want to make up their own rules in life. In essence, they want to be Gods unto themselves. The result is more sin, which is disobeying God’s laws or commandments. This leads to more problems for us individually and collectively. This is not the smart nor easy way to live. Remember, God wants to help us, much like a parent wants to help a child. But He does give us freedom of choice and leaves the ultimate decision to us for accepting His counsel or doing things our way. Life is always easier and happier when we combine His counsel for us with our own best thinking to come up with the right answers for our questions and concerns and problems.
No matter what your age is, or your situation, seek out good advice and utilize it. You will be more successful in your endeavors and experience more happiness in life.
Key Words – advice, decisions, experience, wisdom, trust, independence, less mistakes, spiritual dimension, God’s laws, happiness
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