By Leland Pulley17-2024
Over the years there have been many changes in the lives of my wife and I. We have lived in ten cities located in eight states. We have owned many homes, raised several children, held different jobs, and participated in a variety of activities. Each year there were opportunities presented to us, challenges to meet, and problems to solve. We had many choices and at the time we did the best we could to make the wisest decision or select the best choice for ourselves and our children. Each decision represented another chance to stay the same or change something in our lives. Sometimes it was best to keep things as they were and usually, we did this. Other times the best choice was to change something and often we did this. For any change we then had to decide the best way to do this. Every decision was affected not only on what happened in the past, but what was available at the time, and how we perceived the future. Ultimately it did affect our future. Each decision affected the overall path that we were following in life. It could lead us down a little or up a little. It could set us back some, or move us straight ahead. Over the years the accumulative effects of our decisions began to establish a track record for us. In simple terms this record can be visualized as an arrow moving from the left or past to the right or future, with some small ups and downs in the arrow=s general shape. Overall, our track record produced more success than failure, more contentment and less regrets.
Your life is similar to ourselves and other people. As you walk down your road of life, there are many choices presented to you. These choices give you an opportunity to make decisions. Each decision allows you to keep things the same or change something in your life. You can go one way or another. Your decisions affect the pathway you follow as time goes by. Each additional decision is another consideration of choices and selecting the best one at that time. This will determine what you will do next and thereby affect your pathway. Previous decisions determined the pathway that you followed in the past, which have led up to the path you on today. All previous decisions will affect your next decision and thus the path that you will be on tomorrow.
It is important to note the specific decisions which have or may alter the pathway you walk on in life. Consider what would or could have happened in the past if you would have made different decisions. Maybe you would be living in a different home or in a different city now. You may be married to a different person or have more are less children. You may be making more are less money or working in an entirely different career. You may have better health or perhaps have been in an accident and be in a wheelchair now. Obviously, you do not have the real answers to these types of things. You only know what choices were presented to you, and the decisions you made relative to those choices. After decisions were made, certain things began to happen or evolve in your life and the accumulative effect is where you stand today. The type of person you are, the relationships you have, your circumstances, and your track record of success and failure are like a scorecard on how well you handled decisions as they were made over the years.
Over time anyone is truly happier and usually far more successful if he makes good decisions along his pathway of life. And the reason for this is reinforcement. Good choices reinforce one another and increase the odds of more happiness and success in the future. Likewise, bad or negative choices hinder you and can limit progress in some areas for years. For some choices you may never be able to reverse their consequences on you and anyone else affected by them. So you see, decisions and their resultant consequences on your pathway of life are serious business.
There are several things to recognize and do in order to make better decisions with the choices presented to you or the opportunities you have. First, do not presume that you are an exception to the rule while others must follow them. There are general guidelines for living that life will ultimately teach all of us if we are willing to learn. The challenge is to learn these things at an early age rather than an older age. Then apply them to the decisions you make.
Another thing to do is to learn from others. There are always individuals who have more knowledge, experience, and wisdom in a specific area then you do. Why not seek out such individuals out and learn from them? For example, if you have a medical problem, most people will see a doctor. Likewise, most of us will consult with financial advisors before making large investment in stocks. I could give other examples to illustrate when we will seek the advice of others. This is a good way to learn. Unfortunately, we tend to ignore advice in many aspects of our lives, including some important decisions. We tell ourselves that we know what we are doing. In this way we learn many things the hard way based on our own experience alone. This can cost us time, money, lost opportunities, family problems, and even health. Over the years this tendency produces regrets. Doing this too much or too often is definitely not smart living.
Have patience and do not be in a hurry to make important decisions. Gather all the information you can and evaluate it. Allow some time to go by so you are not reacting or acting in an emotional state of mind. Consult with others who are involved in the decision with you, or who will be affected by the decision. The effects of it on them must be considered also.
Look over some of your decisions in the past.
- Which ones worked out well for you, and how can you make more such decisions in the future?
- Consider decisions which in hindsight have left some regrets in your life. What went wrong with each decision?
- Can you identify certain types of decisions that are difficult for you to make correctly or wisely?
- Are there any patterns in the way you make decisions, and the types of decisions which do and do not work out well for you?
Use answers to these questions to improve your decision-making skills today.
Let perspective work in your favor. As the years go by you should have more perspective on the past because you can see what worked out well and what did not. Time has taught you many lessons. This should help you to understand your present more clearly. With this input, strive to do things that seem logical, good, and fair. The goal is to produce good memories in the future and less regrets. Perspective does this. It will help you make far more right decisions and lead you down the best pathways for yourself.
If you made some wrong or bad decisions in the past which have a strong influence on your life today, do not lose hope. Everyone makes wrong decisions. You can begin today to overcome the negative consequences of past decisions. Consult with others. Select a strategy. Set realistic goals. Work consistently. Over time you can make reasonable improvements in your life in many areas. You can correct your direction or change the pathway you are following.
Finally, take a careful look at the pathway of your life. This is merely a diagram like I mentioned for my wife and I. It shows you walking down your road of life. At various times, choices were presented and a decision was made. What effect did that decision have on your pathway? Did it change your overall direction in any way? Later more choices occur and other decisions are made. Over the years, there will be many decisions and potential changes in direction on your chart. Each decision could alter your pathway in small or big ways. Ultimately, all these changes explain why your pathway looks like it does. It literally became the pathway you traveled in life up to now. Your pathway should look like an arrow from left (or the past) to the right (or the future), with many small ups and downs along the way. Only those with serious problems that increase over time will have a downward sloping arrow over the years. If you review the road you have traveled, you should be able to notice its characteristics.
What is the wisest road to follow for you as an individual and the circumstances you are placed in during Earth life? In religious teachings there is an expression called walking Athe straight and narrow@. Straight implies not deviating to the left nor right, which means not disobeying God=s commandments. Narrow implies that this pathway seems quite restrictive to most people. Yet if such a path way is followed, anyone will make more progress and be happier and have more peace of mind than by following any other pathway.
May you follow the straightest and most narrow path that you can in life in order to be happy and content with how you live. Hopefully, you will not have a pathway in life that is too crooked, with too many downs and not enough ups. You will move forward more than stand still or move backward. This would represent a tremendous waste of your time, talents, and energy. I challenge you to follow the most effective and efficient pathway during the remaining years of your life. If you make this decision today, you will never regret it in the future.
Key Words – choices, decisions, track record, success, failure, contentment, regrets, reinforcement, exception to the rule, learn from others, patience, hindsight, decision-making skills, perspective, time, good memories, hope, pathway of your life, the straight and narrow
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