By Leland Pulley
Self-image is based on how you view yourself. An accurate self-image is based on reality, or you see yourself as the real person that you are at the present time. Others should see you in the same way.
A good self-image is essential for successful living. It is based on confidence in oneself. Self-image contributes to motivation and incentive. You are willing to put yourself out there in front of other people. You will get involved in different activities. An individual with a strong self-image attracts other people to him or her. Thus, it supports reputation.
It is assumed that good mental health is essential in supporting self-image. It is hard to build and sustain self-image when you have a lot of disappointment, failure, anxiety, fear, or depression in your life. Optimism should prevail over pessimism. Positive thoughts should govern over negative thoughts.
Self-image should be built on a solid foundation of truth about oneself, your activities and relationships, and all endeavors in which you engage. This assumes you do not put on a false front to others in order to get more credit or recognition than you deserve. You are not to leave false impressions about yourself in the minds of others. There is honesty in all speech and action. Always be true to yourself and then it will be easy to be true to others also.
There are no shortcuts associated with building and sustaining self-image. There are no magic pills to take. There is not an easy 10 steps program to follow. Others cannot do this for you, but they can encourage and sometimes assist you in specific areas. It takes time and effort over time to build up and sustain your self-image. Some illustrations are given below.
- Almost any skill requires time and effort to develop it. There is learning and sometimes classes to take. Money may be required to support your effort. But as the skill develops and you use it in your life, self-image rises in small but significant ways.
- If you want to play in a sport, you must learn the rules of the game, plus develop the skills necessary to participate in it successfully. Depending on the skill level you desire, this can take weeks or months or years of effort. Your self-image as an athlete in a specific sport will come, as you make progress and achieve success in small but meaningful ways along the way.
- Getting married and then building and sustaining a strong marital relationship is one of the best ways to build self-image as a husband or wife. There are many aspects of self-development involved in any marriage. Think about communication and sharing and cooperating with one another. There are sacrifices to make and problems to solve. Going through all these over the years helps you to feel worthwhile and successful in many unique ways.
- Any experienced parent who has raised boys and girls through childhood and adolescence should have gained confidence and ultimately felt rewarded for their parental efforts. If the children become good and successful adults, parents once again have another experience that contributes to self-image.
- Do you want to start and run a successful business? Once again, observe and learn from others who have already done this in the business you are interested in currently. You may have to study and even invest money, as well as put in lots of hard work to make any business successful. However, this type of success builds your self-image in unique ways and helps to sustain it over a period of time
- Obeying civil laws for the area in which you live is another support for self-image. You can look in the mirror and say that you are doing your part as a neighbor and citizen. In contrast, when you break the law, it usually brings problems for yourself and of course other people. There can be fines as well as jail time. Certainly, reputation goes down and this is hard for people to go through without lowering self-image in the process.
Yes, there are many ways to develop and sustain self-image during Earth life. What most people do not realize is that the most fundamental and important way to do this is by developing a personal relationship with God and his son Jesus Christ. They will help you as you pursue good and righteous desires over the years. They will be there with you even when other people disagree with you or desert you. Getting closer to God and cultivating a personal relationship with him always build self-worth and self-image.
Just as there are ways to build and sustain self-image, there are ways to lower or weaken it.
- Negative environments and bad circumstances will work against you. Allowing these to stay in your life too much of the time and for too long of time will only pull you down.
- When you do things for the wrong reasons, you are setting yourself up for more disappointment and failure.
- You can pretend to be someone that you are not in order to impress others. You can do this for a while with some people, but ultimately smart people will figure you out.
- Taking care of your physical health is very important. When you begin to neglect this basic responsibility, you are planting the seeds of future problems. The negative effects of tobacco and alcoholic beverages and illegal drugs all can lead to serious illness and addictions. These things wear down and weaken self-image.
- Do not be so overconfident that you began to deceive yourself and over rate your own abilities. This can lead to an overload of responsibilities. You can take on tasks which are beyond your skill level and the amount of resources available to you. Lower performance and more failure await you. Remember to stay humble and avoid too much pride.
- Last but not least consider your own character and any flaws in it. These will gradually pull you down over time. For example, having a pattern of coveting things that you cannot get or obtain. Being jealous of others for what they have or who they are. Bearing false witness or lying to avoid criticism or blame. Cheating in order to do better on an academic test or receive a better score in a competitive activity. Being immoral in sexual thoughts and action.
Try to assess the important building blocks of your self-image at the present time. What have you gone through or experienced that helped you accumulate each one of these building blocks? Where is your confidence coming from today?
I can think of all types of good experiences in my life that have contributed to the real person I am today. You should be able to do the same thing for your life. In the process, what can you do today and in the future to sustain your current self-image? What can you do in the future to further strengthen and build that self-image?
Self-image is essential in order to love oneself. Yes, we can all talk about loving God and loving other people. But you will never be as successful in these two goals with poor self-image as you can be with good self-image. This is not selfishness as much as intelligent living.
Look in the mirror of your bathroom tonight. Are you happy with what you see? Stand there a few minutes and ponder. Would you like to see and feel even a better image of yourself in that mirror? I encourage you to take this topic of self-image very seriously. It is a quiet battle within, but it pays real rewards over time. So do not pass up the opportunity waiting for you.
Key Words – self-image, confidence, good mental health, truth, no shortcuts, self-image rises in small but significant ways, strong marital relationship, experienced parent, successful business, obeying civil laws, developing a personal relationship with God, humble, character, love oneself
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