By Leland Pulley
Everyone wants a life that is full of good activities, relationships, and memories. They want to be happy and experience success in many endeavors. As time goes by, they want to look back and be satisfied with what they did and accomplished over the years. Although this is a universal desire, some people do much better at this than others. There are reasons for this.
If you want something good out of life, you must reach out for it. Until you do, nothing really happens, and in most cases other people cannot help you. This is true whether you are seeking something small or something big. Seek to obtain it in the best way you can. This often requires learning and work and self-development. Good habits must replace poor ones. Positive attitudes must replace negative ones.
You need to make definite decisions which will bring about small, but important improvements in your life. Such improvements over time will refine you and improve your lifestyle. The secret is merely to make one decision at a time, and then stick with it until you have accomplished what you need to do.
You should seek individuals and environments that will reinforce the goals you have set for yourself. This sounds obvious, but often people do not do this. Here are some examples.
- If you want to get in job, talk to people who have jobs to offer. What are they looking for and what would they expect from you? If you do not meet the qualifications they are seeking, what can you do about this?
- If you want a good marriage, do not talk to people who are single or unhappy about a recent divorce. Talk to people who have a good marriage and listen to the council they give you. After all they do not have a good marriage unless they did a lot of things right.
- If you want to give up alcohol, do not keep hanging around with people who drink heavily. Your relationships with them and the environment you are in with them will work against you in achieving the goal of abstinence from alcohol.
Do you want to raise your income and have less problems with bills and credit rating? If so, talk to people who can help you in that area. Figure out what you can do at this time and then make any change you can to improve your finances. This may be difficult and take months if not years to get to the point where you are comfortable financially. But this is much better than merely staying as you are and feeling like you are in some economic prison which you cannot get out of now or in the immediate future. And if you do not take any action, this statement will remain true. You will stay in economic prison for years, if not decades.
It is hard to imagine fulfillment in life if you have serious health issues. Do not take your health for granted and show a lack of respect for your body. Eat a good diet and get regular exercise. Have regular medical physicals. Seek to maintain a good physical energy level that will serve you in all your activities and endeavors. Mental health is just as important. Do not dwell too much on negative things. Do not overly criticize yourself and others. Do not see the bad in the world without all the good too. Keep a balanced perspective in this regard. Watch for any signs or evidences of minor depression and take action to deal with it. Health is something we live with every day and we all want it to remain good for as long as possible. If you have any health issues, physical or mental, address them as soon as possible. Get help if necessary. But do not assume they will get better on their own. It is up to you to act and be in charge of your own body and mind.
A lot of fulfillment in life comes through our interaction with others. Think about the happiness that comes to a man and a woman committed to one another in a good marriage and having all their adult years in an enduring relationship. Consider parenting and the rewards that come to diligent parents who teach their children properly and set a good example for them. Any parent receives a lot of fulfillment as children become adults and lead their adult lives in ways that their parents can be proud of them. Personal friends are similar to family members. They can add variety, spice, and reinforcement to your life. They let you know that you are normal and accepted by them. They can help you with disappointments and problems. They are another source of information and support.
In general relationships are to be enjoyed, but they should edify and help you too. Seek individuals who set a good example for you. By observing them you can see character traits, values, and attitudes that you would like to have in your life. In your conversations, others should encourage and coach you. In this way they are a positive stimulus that helps you to make improvements in your life.
One of the best ways to have fulfillment is by giving of yourself to other people. Service given with the right attitude and in the right way benefits both the receiver and giver. Think about some of the times that you have helped others through organized group efforts. Did this not help you feel better about them and yourself? Now consider incidences when you helped another individual one-on-one. Did this not help you to understand one another better and love one another more? Maybe you will even be able to forgive one another easier. When you give of yourself to other individuals, you will automatically be uplifted and receive a spiritual blessing. Sometimes this is some of the best mental therapy you can receive. It is certainly one of the best types of fulfillment in life.
We all must realize, as the years go by, that life is very short. Time passes by quickly. The question is, what are you going to do with your life? You are addressing this question every day you live. You may not think about it too often, but this is reality for all of us. Do an evaluation. What you should ask is which grade do you want out of your life. People who get an F do a lot of things wrong and have many regrets. They wish they would have done this or that, but now the opportunity is gone. D grade people are a little better off, but still live with too many problems and unhappiness. Their level of fulfillment is low. C grade people are most numerous. They go along with the crowd. They merely accept the social norms of their days and feel comfortable being like others. This does not solve their own problems necessarily, nor does it bring out some of their talents and potential for doing better. The B grade individual has set some goals for himself. He will take some useful advice and follow it. He is more selective and therefore ends up with a better lifestyle than most people. The A student in life is the one who does most things right. He develops more of his own talents and uses them in good activities to help himself and others. He cultivates good relationships in the family and outside the home. He has the least regrets and the most wisdom. Currently, what is your grade in life?
It is true that people born in different circumstances have more or less opportunities than others. Some individuals are born into good families with parents who care for them and train them well. Some get more chances to develop skills. Some live in free lands and have more opportunity to get formal education and make their own choices in life. Obviously, when an individual is blessed with more things, more is expected of him by other people and by God himself. But here is the secret to keep in mind. The major difference between individuals and what they get out of life is what they put into it. One person in a poor country can live with very simple means and be just as fulfilled as another person in a rich country who has far more material goods. In this one way both can get an A grade if they use their means properly. They both can get an A grade in marriage and parenting. Both have an equal opportunity to die as happy people with few regrets and many good memories. This illustrates why fulfillment is not limited to any country, culture, race, or age group. It is available to all who will seek it and then live for it.
Finally, we must all realize that fulfillment is not a specific goal that you achieve and then you are finished. As long as you keep living, fill your life with the right things in order to stay fulfilled or raise your level of fulfillment. Being happy at age thirty does not mean that you will automatically be happy at sixty. Between thirty and sixty you must continue to live and do good things in order to sustain fulfillment or be fulfilled each week and month and year. It is a lifelong pursuit that requires constant maintenance and effort. The goal should be to have more fulfillment as time goes on and this is entirely possible for each of us.
There are several reasons people fail in their efforts to have the fulfillment they desire. See of any of these obstacles sound familiar to you.
- You live in the world of excuses, and continually blame others for your problems. Both are losing strategies. They are both traps that hold you down rather than lift you up.
- You hesitate too much, as well as worry more than you should.
- You seek the best conditions and they are not always available. This contributes to procrastination.
- At times it is hard for you to accept that there are better ways to do things and higher plains to live on. You lack vision and therefor hope. This inhibits you and hinders progress.
- You are too comfortable with who you are and what you have. There is a lack of motivation to make positive changes in your lifestyle.
- You are simply ignorant of some things. You fail to appreciate who you could become and what yousent, and be prepared for the future. you must resolve could do if only you would give yourself a chance and put forth consistent effort toward realistic goals.
- You fail to move on. Learn from the past, live in the present, and be prepared for the future. You must resolve and act, and then sustain consistent efforts over time.
As you look at your individual life today, how much fulfillment are you experiencing? How would you grade yourself? Are you going to be satisfied with a C grade or do you want an A in the class of life? I challenge you to look at each aspect of your life. Are there areas in which a decision can be made to take positive and affirmative action to accomplish or achieve or improve? Then do whatever is required to follow through on these decisions. Change some aspects of your environment. Make some new friends and drop some old ones. Give up some bad habits and replace them with good ones. If you do this, you=ll experience more fulfillment as time goes on. And the primary reason is because you have decided this is important enough to make it a priority in your life. You owe this to yourself and to those who are influenced by you. Do not hesitate but take action today.
Key Words – memories, learning, work, self-development, decisions, goals, finances, interaction, marriage, parenting, friends, relationships, service, time, evaluation, circumstances, opportunities, lifelong pursuit, obstacles, priority
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