By Leland Pulley
Let us begin with bad days. The results of such days are familiar to all of us. Here are some common evidences of these days. On bad days things do not go well for us. We may have a headache or cold. We may be stressed out about something. Someone may have hurt our feelings. We are disappointed about something. We are more impatient with ourselves and others. This shows up in what we say and even how we drive. We are not as happy as we normally are. Thus, we are harder on ourselves. We are more pessimistic. We smile less and in general are less friendly. We are less enthusiastic and thus less willing to start new tasks or accept new responsibilities. In some cases, the day seems longer or it drags on and wears us down in the process. The effects of bad days can vary from day to day and person to person.
Now consider those good days when things go well for us. We feel better, even if we have a minor headache or a cold. We may be under stress, but we are not stressed out about anything. Someone may say or do something that could hurt our feelings, but we ignore it or do not let our feelings get hurt. We may be disappointed about some things, but not about many other things. We are more patient with ourselves and others. This shows up in what we say and even how we drive. We are happy, and thus not as hard on ourselves. We are more optimistic. We smile more and in general are more friendly. We are enthusiastic and willing to start new tasks or accept new responsibilities. In most cases, the day seems shorter because we are enjoying it and accomplishing things. The day is over before we realize it and we have been built up or strengthened in the process. The reasons for having a good day can vary from day to day and person to person.
How many good days do you have per year compared to bad ones? It is hard to keep track. However, you should be able to recognize whether more good days or bad ones have been occurring in recent weeks or months. What major variables seem to affect whether a particular day turns into a good or bad one? It is important that you consider these two questions and then look at ways to increase good days and decrease bad ones.
One suggestion is to monitor your performance periodically to identify what leads to achievement, success, and happiness during good days. Also check for areas where you are more vulnerable to errors, mistakes, mood swings, frustration, failure, and disappointment. Such variables contribute to bad days. With this feedback you can take positive action to do better in the future. Here are some general suggestions.
- Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Try to utilize your strengths as much as possible on a daily basis. Avoid situations that take advantage of your weaknesses.
- Develop lots of skills. These can help to handle the responsibilities placed on you. Plus, you will be able to do a better job or perform better in a variety of activities and endeavors.
- Develop your material resources so they can be utilized when necessary. These include money, possessions, property, etc. This permits better responses to the things that life throws at you like accidents or misfortunate.
- Develop and maintain a good support group for assisting you when help is needed. This includes family members, relatives, good neighbors, co-workers, and others.
Another suggestion is to evaluate the impact of others or things outside of yourself on whether you have a good or bad day. Most of the time blaming others does not help nor solve the problem. After all, part of the blame could be you. Yes, people and circumstances can impact your life in many ways, but ultimately you must learn to limit how much they affect you. This requires that you train yourself to stay in tune with your inner thoughts and feelings and learn to keep control over them. A great deal of self-mastery must be developed. This will help you to control how you react to others and situations. The net result is that you will determine in the long run who is running your life – you or outside influences.
Do not forget to consider the positive impact others can have in your life. They can be very helpful. Talking to someone about a problem or strained relationship can be therapeutic. Sharing unloads your burdens or lightens their weight on you. Others can provide solutions you did not think about. They can offer encouragement and assistance. Do not try to do everything yourself if others can assist in some way.
Do some planning. You can make plans for the year or month or week. This provides structure and some continuity. Sufficient planning allows you to do a better job of focusing on one day at a time. Even with good planning, do not become discouraged if each day does not turn out exactly like you intended. Remain positive in your perspective and attitudes. With consistent effort over time, you will gain more personal control over your daily life. There will be more good days and fewer bad ones. It is your choice, your life, your happiness!
Key Words – bad days, good days, monitor your performance, people and circumstances, self-mastery, sharing, planning
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