We hear a lot about helping other people or serving them in some way. We are encouraged to respect the rights of others and have good feelings for them. Religion teaches us to love other people. But how well can we do these things if we do not have our individual lives in order?
It is critical that each of us as individuals learn to love ourselves inappropriate ways. This does not imply that we think only of ourselves first and others second. It does not imply that we are selfish. We should not have a lot of pride that blinds us to our own weaknesses. We are not to take advantage of others in order to get something for ourselves. In other words, there are many good ways to love yourself without having any negative impact on others.
The more you love yourself and have your house in order, the more you are capable of truly helping and loving others. After all, loving yourself gives you the tools and resources to manage your own life appropriately, as well as having a better impact on the lives of others.
Start with looking in the mirror and understanding the person you see. How well do you understand yourself? Can you do an honest appraisal of all aspects of your life in order to accurately judge the person you see in the mirror. This requires full honesty and disclosure. You must admit who you truly are in all aspects of your life. Doing these types of things leads to a very accurate self-image. To assist you in judging yourself, here are some questions to consider. How do you feel about yourself and the life you are leading now? Are you generally happy and content with how life is treating you? Are your expectations being met? There should be a close correlation and, in some cases, a good match between the real you and your real life on a daily basis. Do you have this?
To do your appraisal, first consider mental health. Do you fill your mind with accurate and true information that helps you in various endeavors? You should be able to distinguish between truth and error, as well as right and wrong. Examine your thoughts and feelings. Are they generally positive most of the time? It is okay not to be happy every moment of every day. There will be things that happen beyond your control and you must learn to deal with them and move on. Hopefully, you do not overly dwell on negative events and fill your mind with pessimistic thoughts. You understand what makes you happy and sad and strive to be happy every day. You know what lifts you up and pulls you down mentally and emotionally. Your control your mind and not others or influences outside yourself.
Likewise, pay attention to physical health. How much attention do you give to your physical body? For example, do you eat a good diet, get some exercise, and sleep reasonably well each night? Respect your physical body and take care of it as the delicate machine it is. You should avoid substances that do not promote good health. These include illegal drugs, tobacco products, alcoholic beverages, over use of prescription drugs. etc. Provide the maintenance that your body deserves.
Periodically review all your resources such as time, money, health, possessions, and relationships. You should recognize your talents and skills. The more resources you have, the easier it is to get things done, or accomplish more complicated tasks. Continually develop these things for your own benefit and for assisting others too. This allows you to do more today than five years ago. However, you are wise enough to not over commit yourself. This easily leads to more frustration, disappointment, and stress. Instead, you set a pace that you can sustain over many years. Related to this you recognize the need to take breaks in major activities and endeavors in order to relax, regroup, and consider possible changes in lifestyle.
Recognize the value of relationships and seek to cultivate good relationships with a variety of individuals. These relationships are found in marriage, family life, on the job, in your neighborhood, at your church, and in various organizations or clubs. You are able to make friends and keep them. Be open and sincere in your dealings with others. Avoid putting on a false front and do too much role-playing. This does not help you in the long run and others do not appreciate this. Just as other people are important in your life, you realize that you can be important to them. You know that people are always more important than things or material possessions. You live by this standard.
You are smart enough to avoid negative environments and people who pull you down rather than raise you up. The peer group never does become too influential or dominate in your life. You will change friends and associates if necessary, to have a more positive social environment. Likewise, you set an example that helps others.
As you seek to accomplish things or reach goals, you are generally satisfied with your efforts and results. Your goals are realistic and thus achievable. You have more success stories than failure, especially in things that really matter. You do not run faster than you have strength, or have unrealistic goals for who you are at this time. Your pace in life is in harmony with yourself as the real person you are.
Anyone who loves themselves strives to make the best decisions possible. You think things through and consider alternatives before making a final decision. In some cases, you will seek the advice and counsel of others who have more knowledge and experience. For important decisions, you may even postpone some of these until you feel more confident and at peace with your choice.
To love yourself over time, stay in tune with yourself on a daily basis. You can take breaks to slow down the pace and consider what you are doing. You think things through before acting. Meditation and prayer are very helpful. The goal is to act as well as be acted upon by influences outside yourself. These types of things put you in the driver’s seat. You are in charge, and with good effort, can learn to love yourself on a consistent basis day after day.
As you review your past and its impact on the present, you understand where you have come from and why you are who you are today. Are you generally satisfied with who you are and what you are doing? You should have many good memories from the past, and be content with the present. In essence, you have your life under control. This helps you to project into the future and what you can and should be looking forward to as you walk down your road in life.
As I look at my own life, not everything has gone the way I wanted it. I can see mistakes and lost opportunities. Not every goal was reached. I like you live with limited resources, knowledge, and skills. I tried to do the best I could at the time. Fortunately, I see many good things that did happen. I do not dwell on some things that could have gone better. This does not mean that there were periods of time when I did not love myself. I never felt that way. After all what good does it do to not love yourself? It is harmful for you as a person, and you are less able to love others. It is called a losing strategy and should be avoided at all cost.
Key Words – love yourself, loving others, honest appraisal, accurately judge, self-image, mental health, physical health, resources, relationships, social environment, goals, decisions, breaks, memories
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