By Leland Pulley
Over the years I have noticed that my load in life has changed. At times it was lighter and other times heavier. In reflecting on what I thought and felt during such periods, I have noticed that there were similar variables involved during every period. If this is the case, why were some periods lighter and other periods heavier? What can I learn from this to have more lighter loads in the future?
Lighter and heavier load periods should be in your life too. They may at different times and for different reasons, and even different magnitudes than me, but some up and downs in load should be obvious to you if you take time to notice them.
Look at your life today. Do you feel like everything is under control and running smoothly? Are you happy with your situation or circumstances? How are your relationships going? Are you making progress in various endeavors? Do you have the time, energy, and money to do some of the things you want to do?
Just as you can be tired from a long day at work or from working out physically, you can become tired in life both physically and mentally. You can feel drained and wonder why things do not go better. You may even be depressed and do not see a way out of your current situation. It is at these times that you must ask yourself, how did I get here and how do I get out of here.
To assist you in your efforts, let=s review one of the perspectives stressed on this website, namely Effective Living. This implies that you do the things you want in an effective way, in order to accomplish what you want. You are not suffering from overload. You can handle your obligations and responsibilities. You actually have time to relax, have a hobby, and even smell the flowers. Yes, you have a way to vent, or to relieve frustration without taking it out on other people when it is not their concern or their fault.
The first thing to consider is the type of person you are. What turns you on and what turns you off? It is important to have a balanced life-style that is in harmony with the real you. The many aspects of your life should be suitable for you. They bring out your best features. They vitalize you and give you positive energy to get involved and accomplish good things. This lightens any load that you must carry.
Now let us review some common types of overloads and what can be done with them. The first example is financial problems. You have too many bills and not enough income. You have taken upon yourself too much debt. You do not have enough assets or securities like savings, stocks, or land to cover unexpected events such as accidents and unemployment. That is why you continually chase the dollar seeking more wealth, and yet you are probably spending more at the same time. When will it all end? You feel insecure about your financial future because of past mistakes, or there are variables in the job market or economy beyond your control. In all cases, money is always an uncertainty to a certain degree. You must always remember this and not let it become a burden in your life. Also, never seek out of money what it cannot give you.
Another trap people fall into is taking upon themselves too many obligations and responsibilities for their limited resources, which includes their time and energy and money. It seems okay at first, or for a while. With time you can sense and eventually see for yourself that you are not able to fulfill these obligations or carry out these responsibilities in a satisfactory manner for yourself and for others. This is disappointing and provides negative feedback about yourself to yourself and others. It is a psychological downer.
Then there are those common mistakes we all make. However, making too many mistakes unnecessarily leads to problems. You may fail to listen to good advice or plan properly for your future. You may think you are an exception to the general laws of life, when in reality you are not. For whatever reason, you have more mistakes that you are living with now, than you should have. This is a type of overload that burdens you down and drains your energy and enthusiasm.
Some people allow wants to become needs. They simply cannot put limits on their desires and appetites. When you allow a want to become a need, it is like putting pressure on yourself to do something or get something. This has far greater effect on you, especially when the need is not met, then if it would have stayed merely a want. Do not do this to yourself. All your needs should be easily satisfied with your current abilities and knowledge and resources. If this is not the case, simplify your life by cutting back on needs and increasing resources.
Consider just the pace of life itself. So many people tell me they are in a hurry or busy. Then I say to myself, in a hurry to do what or busy at doing what? It is my observation that a lot of this busyness is due to poor thinking and planning and realistic goal setting. It is also caused by a lack of skills development in order to handle the demands of life. There is a lack of knowledge in order to figure out things for yourself. In short, you run around in your busy little world and at the end of the day or month or year or decade, you finally wake up and realize that in some ways you have played the role of a fool. You have wasted energy and concern and thought on so many different things, rather than channel your efforts into a few things and excel in them. Your life is not under control, but out of control. Take it back today.
The old statement A keep it simple@ is really true. Stick with the essentials first, and then add on all the extras to your life. Do what you can first and then slowly but surely allow your life to become more complex. If you sense that you are beginning to fall behind or become overloaded, then slow down and do not take upon yourself additional load in the form of obligations, responsibilities, duties, friendships, work, debt, and so forth.
One general thing to keep in mind is the statement be prepared. Maintain good physical and mental health. Keep your job skills up to date. Establish and maintain good family ties. Make some friends, especially ones you can count on in times of need and trouble. Have useful resources available like several weeks of food and savings in the bank. Develop a social support system of individuals who care about you in some way and would be willing to help you. This list could go on, but think about ways that preparation can lighten your load in life.
Here are three suggestions to lighten your load in life. First, know yourself and your capabilities. Second, do not take upon yourself or allow into your life more things than you can handle. Third, stay in charge of your life at all times or manage your load. In this way you will avoid overload. Your life will remain as simple and calm as possible. You will be more relaxed, happier, and easier for others to enjoy. You will be managing your affairs in a more effective manner and thus practicing Effective Living.
I challenge you to look in the mirror and ask yourself, do I feel burdened or overloaded in any way at this time? If so, what is causing this? Then try to figure out what you can do, in realistic terms, to get your life more under control and be happier. I want you to know that I have done this for myself and know that it works. I have been overloaded and less happy at times because I simply was not accomplishing everything I wanted. This came across in how I felt and even how I interacted with others. And yet I am a very organized person and generally have good control over the things in my life. So, I am not asking anyone to do something which I have not done myself, nor which I think is merely an assignment for those with major problems in life. Reducing overload, simplifying, having clear priorities, and being more effective in the way you run your life applies to everyone. May you accept the challenge to take this message into your life and let it assist you in doing the things required so you will be happier and more successful in your endeavors.
Key Words – load in life, tired, depressed, effective living, overload, relax, relieve frustration, balanced life-style, financial problems, obligations, responsibilities, mistakes, wants , needs, pace of life, busy, keep it simple, be prepared, clear priorities
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