By Leland Pulley
A good exercise is to look in the mirror. What do you see? You see many outward things such as your physical body and the clothes you are wearing. You can see whether you have a smile on your face or a frown. You can examine whether you are gaining weight or losing weight. What about wrinkles. Are more of them appearing in your facial expression? All these things are merely an outward picture of your appearance to yourself and others. Thoughts and feelings are very important, and yet you do not see any of these in the mirror. It is also hard to judge happiness and satisfaction or fulfillment. Desires are not shown either.
The mirror illustration is very important because we spend so much time and energy on outward things. We follow styles and trends in clothing, hair, and other items. Many people want to live in a good neighborhood with a suitable house that gives a good impression of themselves to others. Then there is that important activity called role-playing. We often play roles to look good in a particular situation. After all, our reputation is at stake. Role-playing allows us to please others to get gain of some type. Unfortunately, too much emphasis on the outward and physical things allows us to not be fully honest with ourselves and with others in terms of who we really are and what we are trying to accomplish.
What is needed is more accurate and important information. Go beyond the mirror and ask yourself these questions. In the process, be completely honest with yourself.
- As an individual, who are you today compared to who you were in the past? What do you want or expect to be in the future?
- Are you currently satisfied or comfortable with your circumstances in life and the situations you find yourself in? If not, what can be done about this?
- What are you achieving? Are you having more success stories or failures?
- Are all your needs and wants being satisfied as much as you could expect at this time?
- Are you genuinely happy each day and week? Do you find yourself experiencing mood swings? Do you have any depression in your life?
- Are most of your thoughts positive rather than negative? Consider your feelings. Do you have resentments towards others? What about any guilt for things you have said and done in the past?
- What is your current level of spirituality? Related to this, have you developed a personal relationship with God?
- Consider family life. If you are married, is your marriage getting stronger, staying the same, or getting weaker over the years. If you are a parent, are those parent and child relationships strong, satisfactory, or getting weaker over time?
- How strong are your relationships with others? Consider friends, neighbors, and the people you work with on the job. Do you consider the rights and desires of others as important as your own? Are you willing to serve others in various ways, as well as let others help or serve you?
- Employment is a big issue for everyone. Do you enjoy the routines and responsibilities of your job or business? Would you like to do something else in the future?
As you analyze yourself and your life, ask yourself this question. Is this the life you hoped for in the past and worked to obtain at this time? If not, what has gone wrong or what has not worked out as well as you had hoped or expected?
It is important to judge yourself. Without this, it is hard to make improvements in your life because you lack specific information to act on. Details help your judgment of self to be more accurate.
- With specifics, it is easier to determine if you are more positive or negative in your thinking. Positive attitudes are essential.
- You will more clearly identify strengths and weaknesses. Then fortify strengths and decrease weaknesses.
- You will set realistic not unrealistic goals and know where to put your efforts to obtain these.
- You can Identify which skills need to be developed more and how to do this.
- You will be able to identify habits or other patterns of living that work against you, and then get rid of them.
- Are you making progress in the areas that are important to you?
- Are you becoming a stronger and more resilient individual?
Finally, consider the influences in your life. Determine who or what is influencing your life and to what degree? Distinguish between those things that you have a lot of control over and those things which you have little control over. Related to this, how much are you doing the things you like and want compared to things you must do. Your answers to these types of general questions, and the specifics above, will help you to clearly see who is in the mirror.
Key Words – mirror, role playing, outward and physical things, ask yourself questions, be honest with yourself, judge yourself, influences in your life
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