By Colleen Pulley
I often jokingly say to my husband of over fifty years that we are what I call the ‘Ghosts’ of society. I have had multiple back surgeries and use a cane to walk with outside the home. We have a handicapped tag on our car which allows us to park closer when we shop. People will open doors for us or give up their seat on a bus. Some of our neighbors will give me a call if they are going to the store and ask if I want them to pick something up for me. I appreciate these kindnesses.
I sit on my porch and watch my neighbors hurrying about their daily life and often shake my head. Sometimes I wish they would take some sound advice from someone who not so long ago was at the same stage in life that they are.
Leland was an engineer and I worked over thirty years as an RN in Trauma Units at several large university hospitals across the United States. I say that because when you transition into ‘Ghost-hood’ people do not think that you have information or suggestions that may be of benefit to them. So as a Ghost, I am going to give you my opinion and some words of wisdom on just one observation.
“How can I Live Without My Phone, and the Internet?”
I want you to understand that I appreciate the convenience of the digital age. I love that I can call my sister in Nebraska and visit with her on What’s App, and visually see her. I love that I can search through land records from the 1800’s on genealogy sites, and find information on my great-great grandparents, who settled in Iowa. I love the fact that I can research any topic and treatment for a medical problem. For all these things I am grateful. What must be realized however, is that this convenience needs to be monitored. It requires you to know when and what to turn off or on.
There are millions of websites, and people that want to attract your attention. They want you to stop by and see what they have to offer. They eat up your time in seconds, and minutes, and hours. Before you realize it, you have become so addicted to it, that you are actually responding to every Bing or buzz which signals someone has sent you a message.
Recently I saw an interview with a CEO for a large computer company. It was interesting to hear him talk about the addictive nature of the internet. He said it was easy to get hooked on the use of your phone, and the lure of tapping into the internet. He admitted even though he knew how addictive it was to always be connected, he had to periodically turn his phone off. Sometimes it would be for an hour, sometimes for an entire weekend. He explained that this allowed him to remain in control of his time.
He said he never allowed his children, toddler to elementary school age to access the internet unsupervised. Before his children were given access to the internet, he and his wife sat down with them and explained that sometimes they may encounter scammers or predators who could try to lure them into illegal activities. They taught their youth how to recognize if something was questionable and explained the importance of coming to them
They wanted them to know that by doing this they may save some other youth from being hurt or used. He then went one step further and said his middle school through high school children understood that their parents had the right and responsibility to monitor what and who they were interacting with.
I want you to think about that CEO and understand that here was a person who worked in the internet industry saying it was necessary for him to keep control of his internet usage. Look at yourself and assess whether you have become addicted.
An addiction is any activity that you cannot do without. It slowly encroaches upon every aspect of your life. It trains you to respond, like a trained monkey, when a message is sent. You must respond, even if you are sitting on the toilette.
Your habitual connection and dependence on being ‘plugged in’ hasn’t just enticed you in, but it has turned you into the dealer for your friends, family, and more importantly your children. You give them their first device, sometimes as early as two or three.
You hover over your children, guarding them from the dangers outdoors, afraid someone will snatch them up. You think you are protecting them from the outside dangers, but you naively assume there are no predators that troll websites aimed at children.
So here I sit on my front porch observing you hurrying through your daily activities. You at times will smile at the ‘Ghost’ and said hello. But you have no idea that maybe you should take the time to listen to the advice that I just gave you. Until later.
“Advice From the Ghost Next Door.”
Key Words – ghosts, phone, internet, convenience of the digital age, needs to be monitored, addicted, children, scammers or predators, parents right to monitor, habitual connection and dependence on being plugged in
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