By Leland Pulley
Many years ago, we moved into a fairly new suburban neighborhood. One day a neighbor invited us to a dinner party. When we arrived, several other neighbors were there too. We enjoyed the good food and a wonderful evening together. But the most important thing was we got to know one another a lot better. We met both husbands and wives, and learned many things about one another. Everyone opened up and freely shared personal information about themselves and their families, their jobs, personal interests, etc. This broke down barriers between us and opened the door so strangers could become acquaintances and friends. We felt closer to one another. Neighbors became real people to us rather than strangers next door, and we became the same to them. After all, they wanted some friends and good neighbors too. Our neighborhood began to have more meaning in all our lives.
Each year thereafter, we would meet. Only now the teenagers and children were there too. Food assignments were made and everyone showed up. I could talk to a husband or wife or a teenager of another couple. It was really a great experience.
These annual events lead to more interaction between neighbors during the rest of the year. Everyone got to know people by their names and were friendly to one another. We treated our neighbors with respect and were willing to help them because they were someone we knew and could trust. I learned names, phone numbers, children’s ages, religion, and type of work, as well as some of the personal interests and political views of my neighbors. Some neighbors became close friends and did many things together. This was due to common interests, shared values, or having kids the same age. All of these things change a group of homes into a real neighborhood.
I still look back and have fond memories of that neighborhood. We have lived in several places and always appreciated the neighborhood more when neighbors knew one another.
In our next neighborhood, there were condominiums and town homes. The average age was about fifty. There were as many grandparents as parents. There were less children to help pull adults together. Still, we made friends with neighbors. With one neighbor we worked together on a common terrace and planting area. In our part of the development, there were two social events planned to bring families together. This increases the sharing of information and our lives. After all, familiarity leads to friendship and this leads to trust. This has been developing between ourselves and our neighbors. It is happening to others too as I see them stop and talk with one another regularly.
Our current neighborhood is a very large development. There are many younger couples ages 20-40, as well as some middle age adults. There are stand alone houses, attached condominiums, and a few apartments. A club house and pool serve everyone. Two schools, a day care center, and fire station lie within the development. More commercial development is occurring each year as the building continues. The neighborhood for us is merely a few close streets of houses. I have met and visited with 18 neighbors thus far. So even in a large development you can create closes ties with neighbors.
When neighbors choose to communicate and share and help one another, the neighborhood takes on a life of its own. People do favors for one another. People feel safer knowing others are looking out for them or will help them when asked, and they will do this in return. It’s like having your own neighborhood watch program.
Besides the efforts of some individuals to know their neighbors better, there are other things that can pull a neighborhood together and improve it. A good example is a neighborhood organization that is active. In new neighborhoods, like we have lived in for years, you usually have a homeowner=s association with a board elected by all homeowners. The board, composed of homeowners, is to follow and enforce the CCR’s or the Covenants, Conditions, and Restrictions for the neighborhood. These cover what people can and cannot do in the neighborhood, as well as what authority the board has to enforce rules. One benefit of CCR’s is they help to maintain the physical looks of the neighborhood so the property value of every home remains as high as possible. If used properly, these documents and this organization provide another means to help neighbors voice their opinions, resolve problems, and maintain control over their neighborhood. A good board or active one, with reasonable participation from neighbors, does help to promote a spirit of unity among people in the neighborhood or housing development.
In contrast to new neighborhoods with CCR’s and a homeowner=s association with an active board, you have many neighborhoods with no CCR’s and no effective organization nor board. A lot of these neighborhoods are older and some are located in poorer or less safe areas of town. They have lower house prices, poorer quality schools, and more family problems, crime, and drugs. Residents in these neighborhoods should seek what I have covered above. Interact with immediate neighbors. Form some acquaintances. Get organized as a group to promote group goals such as safe streets, home and yard maintenance to maintain property values, no drugs, etc. This requires a lot of effort and in some cases literally taking back your streets and neighborhoods. You simply cannot have youths or youth gangs intimidating adults, or gangs doing what they want, or drug dealers making sales on every corner. Organized efforts by concerned neighbors can make a difference, especially when combined with local agencies and groups in your town that want the same thing you do. These outsiders have financial, legal, and law enforcement capabilities to reinforce what you are trying to achieve. In other words, the police department and district attorney’s office should be your friends and partners. So are the city’s department for parks and recreation, the schools, and other groups. When people work together for worthwhile goals, the quality of life in neighborhoods does go up. This is what people seek.
As long as you are going to live in a neighborhood, why not have it offer you and your family a good environment and some good people to interact with. Everyone wants this. Remember, neighborhoods are more than streets, yards, homes, apartments, condominiums, etc. They are areas where people live most of the time. Your neighborhood has an environmental impact on your life. Neighborhoods are even more important to kids than adults. Your child=s neighborhood determines where he goes to school, where he plays, and usually where his friends come from. Your neighborhood determines how close you are to parks, sports facilities and shopping. All these reasons help to explain why so many people will pay more to live in one neighborhood than another.
I challenge you to be a good neighbor and contribute to your neighborhood. Begin with your own example.
- Do you keep up your house and yard so it does not detract from the street appeal of the homes around you? Do the members of your family get along and not have arguments or fights that neighbors hear or see? If you have a dog, keep it in your house or yard. Do not allow loud barking that disturbs others. Do not take the dog on walks and allow it to go to the bathroom on the property of others. Pick up the dog=s stools and put them in a bag for disposal after your walk.
- Are you willing to reach out to your neighbors? Say hello and be friendly. Have a dinner or barbeque at your home and invite some neighbors over for a fun time together.
- Will you help others? You can run an errand for a neighbor. Be willing to watch the neighbor=s house when they are gone out of town or on vacation.
- Do you obey any CCR’s in effect? Attend meetings of your homeowner’s association and voice your opinions or concerns. You could even serve on its board.
- Will you work with others to resolve problems in your neighborhood? This begins by not having your family contribute to any of them. You must be patient and cooperative with neighbors and perhaps outside agencies in your community too.
We all want to have good relations with neighbors and live in good neighborhoods. Strive to achieve this in your life and help others to obtain it too. Do something today that will lead to improvement in this area for you and others.
Key Words – acquaintances, friends, interaction between neighbors, familiarity, trust, neighborhood organization, safe streets, good environment, help others
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